July 09, 2012
...She definitely falls into the 'obese' category, and it's scary. She's the sweetest thing, I love her, but she is very sensitive about her weight. I know this because she never eats in front of me or anyone else in the family. She cooks up a storm, but you never catch her eating more than a mouthful here and there. She's getting those calories from somewhere! I know a pregnancy in her condition can be very, very dangerous -- to her and the child. So, how do I broach this subject? I feel like doing an intervention with family and friends who love her. Is there such a thing for someone who's killing themselves with food? I'm scared, because I don't know how she'll react, and I don't want to hurt or alienate her. Anyway, I could go on and on, but that's it in a nutshell.
Rose - You're right to worry and I think you instinct is correct. Intervention. Get in touch with her doctor. She/he must have talked to your DIL about the weight (or he's an incompetent). Ask him about intervention, getting family and loved ones to confront her. You sound like you love her a lot, so it's coming from the right place. Where's your son in all this? My bet is he's in denial, too. I think you have to do something, though, for your DIL and the baby. Sounds like a very dangerous situation. Good luck.
Thanks, Katherine. I'm a little worried that if confronting her doesn't go well and she ends up hating me, I'll not be welcome when the baby arrives. I don't think she's that sort of person, but you never know. It's all so personal, calling someone out on their weight. I've heard horror stories.
FYI - I have a (private) meeting with my DIL's doctor but it's not for 2 weeks(!). Meanwhile, I submitted a question to Ask Dr. Hyman. Figured it couldn't hurt. why not take advantage, right?
Met with the doc, and I've got to say, this lady should have her license revoked! She is absolutely clueless. I got the feeling she thought I was lining her up for a lawsuit. Totally defensive. Details if you want them...