My first boyfriend once told me he liked bigger women because they were better in bed. His logic was that big girls have self-confidence issues, and that they compensate for their less-than-ideal figures by being freakishly awesome (or just plain freakish) in the sack.
If a suitor pulled out a line like that now, I’d head for the hills, but I was young then (and stupid and infatuated). In any case, at least part of his theory was true -- I did have self-confidence issues.
At the time (and I’m embarrassed to admit this now), I was hoping men would like me in spite of my body. I was counting on finding a guy who thought I was so awesome that he could overlook my plus-sized frame. It never occurred to me that my figure wasn’t something to apologize for. Like I said, I was young and naïve.
Now I’m older and wiser, and I scoff at how limited was my understanding of the vast expanses of human desire and attraction. Now I know that people’s tastes are as diverse as there are bodies to appreciate.
If you have any doubts, a trip down the rabbit hole of the world wide web is a fast reminder that people are into all sorts of stuff. There will always be men who enjoy what you’ve got going on, whether you gain a hundred pounds, shave your head, lose a limb, or braid your armpit hair. This much I can promise you. Of course, any of those things will drive some guys away, and that’s fine. They’re just not the guys for you.
Emily Heist Moss is a 20-something New Englader in love with Chicago, where she works at a tech start-up. She is a weekly columnist at The Good Men Project, and has been published by Jezebel, The Frisky, and The Huffington Post. She blogs daily at RosieSays.com, and can be followed @rosiesaysblog.